BNP Paribas
4, rue d'Antin
750002 Paris
Attention The Board of Directors
Dear Sirs / Madam
I'm a tax-paying son-of-a-BRIC and by now you will have read in your Les Echos our (the BRICS) collective intention to extend your access to additional credit facilities in what can only be described as a selfless act of mercy before you suffer the Coup de Grace.
Now, after some careful soul-searching and studied consideration, I too feel your plight sufficiently dire and in need of urgent redress. Therefore, I'm thrilled (avec plaisir), ecstatic even, to confirm, given your hitherto impeccable financial standing, that you have been selected & pre-qualify for an additional $1000 away-from-the-window funding. Now, I realise that this must come as quite a shock. Even so, I can imagine your relief. There are however and this is important, two caveats. Firstly, I will require appropriate security and as a start might I suggest the Arc-de-Triomphe de lEtoile? Perhaps, given your generosity in Athens, you would, contrary to what would be considered prudent business practice, volunteer additional security? I'll leave you to your deliberations; exhausitive, no doubt. Secondly, if you celebrate the generosity of my offer by going to the press, the deal is off. It is not my intention to move global markets on the news. Notwithstanding, it would, however, be disingenuous to hold your board accountable for a leak stemming from any unauthorised activity ie: board-room phone-tapping and or other clandestine eavesdropping irregularities, by the mainstream press.
Fondly, yours in rescue.
Son-of-a-BRIC
PS: I'm going out into the garden now to mine more gold. Demand, it seems, is quite robust.
4, rue d'Antin
750002 Paris
Attention The Board of Directors
Dear Sirs / Madam
I'm a tax-paying son-of-a-BRIC and by now you will have read in your Les Echos our (the BRICS) collective intention to extend your access to additional credit facilities in what can only be described as a selfless act of mercy before you suffer the Coup de Grace.
Now, after some careful soul-searching and studied consideration, I too feel your plight sufficiently dire and in need of urgent redress. Therefore, I'm thrilled (avec plaisir), ecstatic even, to confirm, given your hitherto impeccable financial standing, that you have been selected & pre-qualify for an additional $1000 away-from-the-window funding. Now, I realise that this must come as quite a shock. Even so, I can imagine your relief. There are however and this is important, two caveats. Firstly, I will require appropriate security and as a start might I suggest the Arc-de-Triomphe de lEtoile? Perhaps, given your generosity in Athens, you would, contrary to what would be considered prudent business practice, volunteer additional security? I'll leave you to your deliberations; exhausitive, no doubt. Secondly, if you celebrate the generosity of my offer by going to the press, the deal is off. It is not my intention to move global markets on the news. Notwithstanding, it would, however, be disingenuous to hold your board accountable for a leak stemming from any unauthorised activity ie: board-room phone-tapping and or other clandestine eavesdropping irregularities, by the mainstream press.
Fondly, yours in rescue.
Son-of-a-BRIC
PS: I'm going out into the garden now to mine more gold. Demand, it seems, is quite robust.
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